Never allow someone to negate your intrinsic value.
I’ll be the first to admit that I have always been one to allow people to walk all over me. Whether they were coworkers, or boyfriends (sometimes they were both) or even Joe Smith, the Customer Service representative at Bell, I’ve struggled with standing up for myself.
Suffering from a severe case of naivety and an equally bad People-Pleasing-Syndrome, I allowed people to talk to me and treat me however they pleased. I don’t think I was truly cognizant of it up until a year ago, when I was recounting my weekend with a colleague…
On an idle Friday night, in an outright tantrum, Mackenzie decided with absolute conviction that he no longer wanted to be with me. To use the word “heartbroken” is an understatement. I couldn’t understand where any of this was coming from, and it really made my question my ability to genuinely be with another human being. After a sleepless night, we decided to discuss it face to face (opposed to WhatsApp, his frequent platform for break-ups), at which point he took the opportunity to apologize. With little explanation, he told me he hadn’t meant what he said. He didn’t know what had come over him, and he was wasn’t feeling well, which is why he resorted to calling it off. He was literally staring at me, telling me that he broke up with me because he felt sick… Yes friends, you read correctly.
In actually saying these words out loud, I recognized how disposable I was. I allowed someone to discard me and pick me right back up on their own whim. It was an unhealthy situation – and in allowing someone to treat me as such, I was chipping away at my own self-worth. Not to mention, I was encouraging this behaviour, and it truly set the precedent for the remainder of the relationship.
Have enough self respect to recognize when you are being disrespected. Never allow someone to invalidate your feelings simply because they don’t align with anyone elses’ – it’s dehumanizing. Lastly, quit belittling yourself… You’re better than that.